


Past, present, future

by Scullypantsuits



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, MSR, a bit of angst, s11x02, this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-07-29 14:33:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16266182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scullypantsuits/pseuds/Scullypantsuits
Summary: After the events of "this", Mulder and Scully fell asleep on the couch again. Scully wakes up and starts thinking about their relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! this is my first fanfiction, I've always had the idea of writing one in my head and I finally did. Everytime I see Mulder and Scully on that couch in "this" my heart melts. Please let me know what you think or if you have any advice to give me =)  
> Also english is not my first language, so I'm sorry if there are grammar mistakes.

The house was quiet and even if the lights were still turned on Mulder and Scully were peacefully sleeping on the couch. It had been easy falling asleep that way. After all the troubles of the last couple of days they were exhausted. Being on the run can really tire out a person. Not that they didn't know that already, but they were becoming too old for that. All that Scully expected for her evenings now was spending them together with Mulder eating Chinese take away and watching television after having discussed with him about what to watch. It had been weird at the beginning, but it slowly became a kind of routine for them. They started spending more and more evenings in the house she once considered her home, that she found herself falling asleep on his couch with such easiness that scared her. She started asking herself what would have happened, hadn't Langley tried to contact them and hadn't the Russians attacked them. Would she have woken up in the middle of the night and silently gone to her house in the city, or would her have woken up in the morning, at the delicious smell of Mulder's pancakes? There was also another possibility she didn't even wanted to consider. What if Mulder and her would have woken up together, in the middle of the night, and started asking themselves why the hell was she so often at his house? Anyway, being on the run didn't let her so much time to think about this and about her relationship with Mulder. When she returned to his house after their run adventure was over, she was too tired to ask herself why had she once again gone to Mulder's instead of going to her house. They fell immediately asleep, next to one another, in the same position they were when the crazy events of the last two days began, with a very small space to divide them, a little space that was as well physical as psychological. A small space that they couldn't get over yet, a distance so small but still so difficult to overcome. 

It was the hunger that woke up Scully. After an initial disorientation she remembered the events of the last couple of days and sighed. Her hip was still bruised from her sliding behind the table, and the pain was really bothering her at this point. She considered taking a painkiller, but first she needed to eat something. The thought reminded herself that she was starving. She hadn't eaten in a while now. Scully stretched herself and turned to Mulder. He was still sleeping. God, he was beautiful. Scully was so near to him that she could smell his Mulder-smell. It was all so familiar she felt overwhelmed for a moment. How many nights had they been in the same position, on the same couch, talking about a possible future and the possibility to be happy, together. She remembered even too well the nights of passion spent on that couch, as well as the nights she spent alone, asking herself what Mulder was doing in his study and if he would ever overcome his demons. The night she decided to go away he was on the couch, looking at her while she walked out with her suitcase. She remembered having seen a sparkle in his eyes, something that she hadn't seen in months, years. She just wanted a reaction, something that could tell her that her Mulder was still there. She was sure he would have run after her, asked her to stay and they could have worked things out, started from there to go back to their happiness. But he remained seated on his couch, didn't even tried to move. She waited for him for a while, then she went away, not even knowing where to go. She remembered feeling lost, desperate, she cursed that damn couch more and more times, the same couch she was sitting on right now. Thinking about that night made her heart ache. She looked at Mulder again and immediately the anguish left place to love. He definitely changed from that night. He was her Mulder again now, even a little more attentive than before. She loved him, they both knew it, but she wasn't certain that she could go back to her past life, she didn't know if she was ready yet. It scared the hell out of her thinking about coming back to their home, to Mulder. He knew it, she was sure of it. They never needed to talk to acknowledge the other's thoughts and feelings, they read each other, their bond was incredibly strong even now, after all the time they spent separate. She knew he was waiting for her to be ready before making any sort of move. He let her lead, going to her rhythm, not pushing her. God, he really did change a lot. Scully knew that they were slowly returning to the same rhythm, she wouldn't need so much time after all. She missed him terribly, but she was too controlled and fearful to move yet. Just a little more time, to be sure that he was really there this time, that he was really ready to abandon his demons for a life together, with her. She reached for him, touching him lightly on his cheek. He shifted a little, but didn't wake up. Scully crouched near him, laying her head on his shoulder, overcoming that last little space between them. What they had, what they managed to rebuild, was enough for her. At least for now. Scully slowly fell asleep again, forgetting her hunger and the pain on her hip. She felt protected, she felt loved. Maybe there was still hope after all.


	2. Mulder's thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder wakes up and starts thinking on his relationship with Scully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it seems to me right to give Mulder's point of view on their relationship.   
> Please let me know what you think, it's very important to me =)

His back was really bothering him, he was definitely too old to fall asleep on the couch that way. There was something weird though, something that Mulder, in his drowsiness couldn't identify. It was only when he opened his eyes that he understood. Scully, in her sleep, had laid her head on his shoulder. The sensation of the little weight laying on him was as new as familiar to Mulder. In their life together, that was certainly not the first time that Scully fell asleep on him, but it was the first time in too much time, considering how much he missed her in this years. Now in the silence of his house, their house, Mulder fully understood how much he missed her. He missed her from the very first moment, but he was too busy cursing the world and himself to fully acknowledge her absence. Then, when he tried to go back to himself, he needed to avoid thinking to her, the topic was too painful to allow him to return to a decent life. Just recently he could fully understand how his life, without Scully, was so terribly empty. She spent so much time at his house now that it was almost as she never went away. Almost. Every time that Scully, at the end of their evenings, said goodbye to him entering the car that would drive her home, Mulder could, once again, remember with incredibly pain that things still weren’t like before. It was such painful some evenings that he spent the rest of them with his phone in hand discussing with himself if he could call her without making a fool of himself. Mulder looked again at Scully. Her red hair was gently running down his shoulder and some of them were covering her face. Mulder suddenly had a flash of her, sleeping in that wretched bar, just the day before.   
She was incredibly beautiful there too.  
Sometimes Mulder found himself looking at her during their work hours, staring at her. He couldn't help it, she was so radiant it was difficult not to look at her. Like now, he thought. He hated himself for having treated her so poorly for so much time, but now he finally decided that keeping hating himself was of no help. He wanted to prove her that he was there this time, there for her, for them. He was ready to prove with words and acts that he would not fuck it up this time. He loved her so much it hurt, and he knew well that his feeling was mutual at this point. What he also knew was that she needed time, she wasn't ready to go back to their relationship yet. His Scully had always needed more time than him. She needed to think and to elaborate before doing anything, but hey! That was also a reason why he loved her so damn much. He was ready to give her all the time she needed, only being able to be with her and to enjoy her company was enough for him. It was much more than he asked for, than he hoped for. Scully, his Scully, his best friend and love of his life was crouched next to him and he was happy.   
For once in his life Fox Mulder was just happy.  
No remorse nor sense of guilt to spoil the moment. Just him, Scully and the love that enveloped them. He felt complete there, next to her. He was almost afraid to move, but still, he lightly brushed his hand on her cheek and with a gently touch moved the lock of hair on her face behind her ear. It was then that Scully opened her eyes. She opened them slowly although resolutely. They were not sleepily, but very much awake and Mulder doubted for a second that she had been asleep at all. The blue of Scully's eyes was electric and so deep that Mulder feared he could get lost in it. They looked in each other eyes for what seemed like an eternity. The moment seemed so perfect to Mulder that he was truly afraid to move now, his hand still on the lock of hair behind her ear. And then, as if the moment couldn't become more perfect, Scully smiled. It was the very same smile that she did after their New Year’s Eve kiss, their first kiss. it was pure.   
It had been her smile that did it for him, so much time ago, the first time she entered his basement office, when after his speech about aliens and conspiracies, she smiled to him. Her smile, illuminated by the colorful lights of the projector, was genuine, innocent, like the one he was looking at now. And, like then, he immediately understood that his world was a better place now.   
He smiled to her, such love in their eyes now. His thumb gently stroking her face. Their faces were slowly coming closer one another.   
"Mulder"  
she whispered a second before their mouth came in contact. The kiss was a simple one, just lips touching, like their first kiss. And indeed, it was. Their first kiss in a long time, the first kiss between the new version of them. Mulder's hand cupped Scully's face. Her left hand positioned itself on Mulder's chest, gently, not quite touching. It was like coming back home after a long trip. It was all familiar, although exciting, electric. But they could expect nothing else, considering their history, their chemistry.  
It didn't last long, but was enough for them to understand that they were walking on the same path. It wasn't a kiss of passion yet, more a promise that soon they would both be ready to undertake the last step, together. No word needed between them, when their lips parted they automatically crouched one another on the couch, finding a more comfortable position and soon fell asleep again.


End file.
